


Love You Anymore

by HollyElizaann



Category: Psych
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Separation, Song Inspired, agnst, not exactly a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 04:40:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19456552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollyElizaann/pseuds/HollyElizaann
Summary: There's a reason Shawn never bothered with getting close to people and giving his heart away. For some reason he abandoned all of that when he met Carlton Lassiter. Now his worst nightmare is coming true and he's in the worst denial Gus has ever seen.Inspired by Michael Buble's "Love you Anymore" hence the title





	Love You Anymore

Shawn wouldn’t call it stalking. No, that’s not what he wold classify it as. I anyone- and he means _anyone_ \- were to ask him, even Gus or Talia, he would tell him he wouldn’t even admit to living in his memories. Him and his damned cursed brain. Why must he be cursed with a memory so good that on substance can even deter it? He’s been black out drunk before and the remembered every excruciating and cringy detail. Every Heartbreak never fully faded away simply because his memories never faded. It’s why he never wanted anything serious. It’s why he always denied it and went with simple rolls in the hay. That was until he met Carlton. Carlton Lassiter made Shawn want to forget all his inhibitions and worries and settle down. And that’s exactly what they did. The detective caught the faux Psychic’s heart and tamed the wild beast much to everyone’s surprise. Shawn was happy. In fact he had never been so happy and content in his life.

Of course moments like this, he should have realized and learned, always end. Usually through a crashing halt. The happy couple had been married for just over a year When the accident happened. It was a really ugly case that ended in a shoot out car chase. The detective’s precious crown Vic had been shot at- Carlton himself shot- then subsequently the car getting totaled. Carlton was in the hospital in a coma for two weeks. And Shawn sat diligently next to his beside every day. He held his hand. He cried. He barely ate, never left. He bathed in the bathroom on Carlton’s private room So _when_ Carlton woke up, Shawn was always there.

When Carlton did wake up however, Shawn’s world came crashing down. The detective blinked his eyes open and groaned out loud, And Shawn started crying and laughing, leaning over and kissing him happily, relieved his love finally woke up. But Carlton pushed Shawn away, looked at him with fierce eyes and demanded to know who he was, why was he in his room and why the hell was he kissing him. Shawn sat there in complete shock. Carlton had absolutely no memory of at least the last ten year. Definitely no idea who Shawn was, let alone that they were married and in love. Carlton demanded Shawn leave the room and told the nurses to not allow him back in. Shawn had never felt so crushed in his life. So for the next few days, he hung outside Carlton’s bedroom. But the detective refused to see him. Right before he was going to be discharged, Shawn left, packed up basically all his belongings in the house he and his husband shared and moved in with his best friend, saying it was only temporary, that Carlton was bound to remember him soon enough- especially when he gets home and smells him everywhere.

That was all almost a year and a half ago. Carlton didn’t seem to be remembering him. In fact, he deemed Shawn a Stalker and told the chief to not allow him on anymore cases- at least with him. That had been a really harsh blow. How could Shawn remind Carlton of their love if the man wouldn’t even see him. He snuck back into their house and found all their pictures thrown into a box under the sink. Shawn sighed and took them back to Gus’. He didn’t know if he was going to thrown them out or have them analyzed to see if they were photoshopped. But if it was the former, he had to save them. He had hoped the pictures- their wedding album- would have helped his Carlykins remember him and their love.

Now Shawn spends the weeks, taking small clients he can solve within the hour, some odd jobs for people around town, and visiting his and Carlton’s old haunts hoping that maybe some muscle memory or an inkling will bring him there and he’ll have an epiphany. Every Tuesday and Thursday, despite being on a case, the couple would always go to this club/bar a few towns over, just for some greasy food and a drink- almost like a standing date night. So Shawn finds himself sitting at the bar every Tuesday and Thursday. He sits on the opposite side. He and Carlton would normally sit on the side where Carlton can see both the floor and the door- just in case. Shawn now sits where the door is the only thing in his view so he can see if Carlton comes in. With a sigh Shawn looks down at his phone, which still has his favorite photo of Carlton ever- he’s at his desk and is looking at his phone, away from the paperwork and has a smile on his face because of the text Shawn had sent just a moment before. It comes only in second to the picture Shawn took of him while lying on his lap while they watched a movie- and notices it’s already ten. Carlton would never come out to the bar this far from town this late. So he pays off his tab and drives home.

Like he does every night, he drives past the police station to see if Carlton is still working. Sometimes if he see’s his car, he will just park next to it, especially if the place is empty, and try to get the nerve to go in there and talk to him. What’s the worst he’ll do? Arrest him? He’ll just call Sam, Talia’s best friend’s husband. But Shawn’s never been able to get the courage since Carlton kicked him out of the hospital room. If he’s not at the Station, Shawn drives by Tom Blair’s. He’s gone in and paid off Carlton’s tab a couple of times, just wanting to still take care of him some how. Though most nights, Carlton’s back at the house. Shawn always get’s teary when he drives past it and see’s his spot empty, knowing he can’t go home not yet. He remembers when they bought the house. Shawn got spooked and ran. Ran like he always did. But something kept him from crossing the town line. He sat there and just contemplated everything. It was past nightfall when he returned to Carlton, who was just laying in the moving van, _waiting_ for Shawn to return. That’s the moment Shawn _knew_ without a shadow of a doubt, that Carlton Jebediah Lassiter was it for him. He never could foresee this.

Gus and Carlton had very similar music tastes. And more than once did he have to march over and slam the radio or speakers off after he caught himself murmuring Carlton’s name. Even with some of Talia’s Show tunes. He’ll close his eyes and start getting lost in the memories and his love before he mumbles his name and he has to slam off the music before he ends up bawling in front of them. At first they were mad at him for shutting off the music or even stomping out of stores and restaurants But after a while they understood. Shawn has never loved anyone like he loved Carlton. And Carlton not only didn’t remember Shawn, he didn’t want anything to do with him. Plus they all wanted to avoid another incident like the stereo in Psych. They had just been listening to the radio when " _My Life Would Suck Without You_ " came one and Shawn threw the baseball on his desk at it and broke it. He then stomped out and wasn't seen again for another 24 hours. He acted like nothing even happened.

And they could tell that Shawn was barely holding it together. If ever asked about it, Shawn would shrug and say he wasn’t the best he’d had, or that he didn’t miss him. But Gus, Talia, Henry, and Madeline couldn’t be fooled. They knew Shawn for far too long though to confront him about it. He was stubborn as ever. He’s vehemently deny it. But he was falling into a rabbit hole depression, that his loved ones could see it. Gus even stumbled in on him _praying_ one night. Shawn had never even been the religious type, not when they were back in catholic school when they were boys. Not when their own friend had become a pastor. And yet here he was, kneeling at the side of his bed, asking for Carlton to remember him. He was practically begging and Shawn wasn’t someone who normally begged. He wasn’t even like this when his parents had gotten a divorce. This wasn’t a side of Shawn Gus had ever seen before- and Gus had known him since they were in diapers. Carlton just needed to Remember Shawn- sooner rather than later. Because Gus didn’t know if they were going to be able to pull Shawn back from this. Maybe it had already been two long- nearly two years in the murky depths of his depression. Gus resigned to do the main things he knew he could do, get jerk chicken and try to help his best friend out the best he can.


End file.
